I am 22 years old and I think I’m done. Truly, I am extremely disinterested in the hookup culture. The idea of having sex with someone and having to pretend the next day is not only confusing but disrespectful. As a young lady who is aware of the fact that I am not made for the hookup dating world, I reserve the right to say no to Half Love. I do realize that not many people understand what that is. Let me the inexperienced Guru fill you in.
Half Love is the stage of ‘dating’ requiring zero commitments. It is mostly about sex and occasional ‘dates’ (if you are lucky enough) more than it is about building a RELATIONSHIP. Some would argue that Half love is best and maybe necessary for those who are not ready to settle down. Yeah yeah that’s all fantastic but not really! Let me explain. Half love has one distinctive characteristic that distinguishes it from other types of relationships. NOTHING in Half love is defined. For most people this is great ( I do understand that we are all not the same). For me however uncertainty kills the romance. Not knowing that a man thinks I’m enough does not excite me. The idea that a man I share a bed with is allowed to penetrate another takes a chunk from my heart. The mere thought of the public embarrassment from the occasional dreaded “aren’t you guys dating” question that has to be followed by the ‘lets look at each other and say No’ answer makes me angry.
Moreover the number of things I am supposed to be OKAY with simple does not workout very well. First I am expected to have sex with a person and completely ignore them in public. This is to avoid being overbearing because God forbid I show emotions in public. “people might get the wrong idea”. Second I need to be completely OKAY with stories about how that girl is so cute, and how he is not thinking about being in a relationship anytime soon. Well then what are we doing here? Is that not what we are building towards? Half love would be way better if people actually communicated EXACTLY what they want from the interactions. They would be way better if people were always on the same page. They would be way better if people were honest about how sex actually does not mean love. In half relationships sex is a physical act that mostly benefits men and occasionally satisfies women. Half love is not a stepping stone to something greater. Half love is a weakness where one fears the idea of waiting for something AMAZING and settles for what is available. Half Love is temporary and maybe necessary for many to realize we all deserve something greater than half. We all deserve exactly what we fantasize about. Maybe the reason we don’t have it is because we don’t believe we deserve it enough.