He feels like home and tastes like my mom’s cooking. I smile with my eyes and giggle more often than usual. I am falling for the power he does not have. I am falling for the control that I have with him. I am still in control of who I am and what I want. I am wide awake and moving forward. I am away and longing. He feels familiar but I have doubts. I wonder what he is here to teach me. I believe that every interaction and every relationship serves a particular purpose. I am looking forward to sitting down by myself with music or sunlight and reflecting on my growth. The sad truth is I am already giving us an expiration date without even starting the journey. Is this how damaged I am? I am praying for a healer. I am searching for a strong shield and wishing for safety. I need something safe and permanent.