I named you Lwandle- a Zulu word for Ocean, because in my eyes you simply are that powerful! You were conceived in spirit during my Spring break trip to Texas specifically St Padre Island. I stood still and observed the mighty Force. I had a smile on my face as I witnessed my soul being proud of me. I experienced what I now call a spiritual awakening. In front of me was a body of water that is arguable one of the strongest compounds known to men. Compared to the her I was small, insignificant and extremely vulnerable. In her full splendor and glory she can have us all extinct in a matter of minutes if she thought necessary.
I know this is not necessarily a groundbreaking discovery, as we have all in one way or the other witnessed her expressing her rage through Tsunamis and other distasteful events. I realized however that I wanted more than ever to relate to having that much power. Fast forward to year 2017 when I learned of your existence. When an opportunity to name you came to be the name Lwandle was a no brainer. I started meditating on who I envisioned you to be and found myself drifting to the memory of the St Padre Island. Then it all came together in full circle, you are my ocean.
You are my place of rest. In you I see peaceful power that only a woman can have. I look at you and I pray you become what I know the ocean to be. I want you to grow into your strength. I want you to know that you are more than capable of achieving everything you set your mind to. You are unpredictable, irresistible and healing all at once. You can cleanse souls and destroy establishments with your tongue. With all of this I want to say I love you! I am proud to have given birth to a powerful woman like you. I am honored to have the opportunity to nurture such a powerful Force. Once you realize who you are I know your world will be transformed.
Dear wonderful daughter,
It is perfectly okay not to be okay. You will not always have it together and I certainly do not expect you to! Calm down, all of it will make sense when the time is right. What you are going through is normal and I trust that you are well equipped to handle the challenges that lie ahead. Being interested in sex is completely normal. It does not make you a slut nor does it make you a sinner. Your body is changing and that is okay too. Wear that mini skirt, but only because YOU want to, and not because you want that boy to take a second glance.
THEY MIGHT NOT WANT YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT TRUST ME THAT IS A BLESSING. THIS WILL ONLY GIVE YOU MORE TIME TO LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S MISTAKES.
NEVER settle for less than what you deserve. Trust me, you know what you deserve. Don’t be afraid to share with him what that is. Remember that it is not always about you. You need to treat others with the same respect you demand. You might not enjoy having sex with him and that is okay! TELL HIM NO. Have Sex when you want to, you don’t have to do it for him. Trust me he can deal with rejection, and beside you don’t owe him any explanation. He also has the right to say no.
This heartbreak will not last forever. I know it might feel like the end of the world but know that you will be triumphant. Accept that he is not for you, and you not for him and that is okay. This does not necessarily mean he is a bad person it just means your time has not come yet. Dust yourself up and rejoice in being single. Truly single and working on your self. Make time for your own growth and your own happiness. Be content in who you are emotionally and physically. Spiritual freedom however will truly set you free. There is nothing like being at peace with who you are.
I am in tears just thinking about your healthy tiny hands. I glow at the thought of your laughter. You were conceived from pure magic. You are immensely loved and treasured. I can’t wait to lay in an empty room with you and shut the whole world out, and to say a prayer of gratitude. I will praise the Lord in ways unimaginable for allowing your father and I to hear that heartbeat. You are my flesh, my heart in human form, my soul and my love personified, my all, my force, my hope and my joy. You are my pride and a true form of I and your father’s best attributes.
You are great. You are love and thank you for changing my life.
Grow, smile, cry and I will always be by your side in spirit and in flesh.
To pray for you during random nights when I lay awake to obsess over your face.
I vow to love every inch of you with patience, including the parts you are yet to reveal to me. I want to love you to existence. I want to love you to the King I know you are. I promise you this much, as long as I am still breathing you shall have it all.
You are everything and more. You are loved and you are worthy! You are great and You are enough. You are light and you are free. You are joy and a blessing. You are needed and you are PRESENT.
March 4th: Meeting
March 26: Official
July 17: Proposal
July 21: Mrs
Brunch or usual suspects? Whatever it is, I have fallen in love yet again. You are my exhale. I feel restored and I know I’m closer to my true self. Your words ring true and they bring me back to my original comfort zone. A place where I felt unstoppable and ready. I will not give you all the credit! I too have been searching for the her I know I was born to be. She favors success over sleep. She blossoms with a simple thank you. She prays to see her mother’s tears of joy. She yearns to be needed and loved. She worships those that elevate her. Stay with me good sir! I need your charisma, I need your drive and the lord knows I want your touch. For me it’s not even about what you say or what you have, but rather what you know you are capable of. You said you owe it to those who believe in you and I had an orgasm. A mental orgasm where everything made sense. Then, you reminded me of who I am. You woke her up. The woman who only reaches for perfection, the woman who defines strong. The woman who is about action! A dreamer at heart and a lover in nature. I miss her and sometimes I wonder if I have even met her. Here is what I know to be true. You might not last. I might not get the privilege to be called your woman… But I will use you to build her! I will use you as an example of who I need to be. I will beat you at your own game because I will do it with grace. I will believe in exhale! I will believe in being cozy and I will take several sips of wine. I will meet King and I will recognize the magic and worship him. I will use you to get abs and a promotion 😀😀. I will use you to feel alive again. I will treasure you as my secret.
He is as refreshing as a glass of water in a blazing afternoon. He held me in ways I never thought were possible. He grabbed me with his lips and with his hands he kissed my cheeks to the moon. I fell in love with an exhale. Will he pass? Stay with me good sir… even if it’s for a day. Let me pull your hair to a fantasy. Stimulate my head and let me explode to the Safari.