To my heartbeat

I am in tears just thinking about your healthy tiny hands. I glow at the thought of your laughter. You were conceived from pure magic. You are immensely loved and treasured. I can’t wait to lay in an empty room with you and shut the whole world out, to say a prayer. I will praise the Lord in ways unimaginable for your heartbeat. My flesh, my heart in human form, my soul in flesh, my love personified, my all, my force, my hope and my joy. You are my pride and a true form of I and your father’s best parts.

You are great. You are love. You are love. You are love. You are love.

Grow, smile, cry and I will always be by your side in spirit and in flesh.


I vow,

To pray for you during random nights when I lay awake to obsess over your face.

I vow to love every inch of you with patience, including the parts you are yet to reveal to me. I want to love you to existence. I want to love you to the King I know you are. I promise you this much, as long as I am still breathing you shall have it all.

You are everything and more. You are loved and you are worthy! You are great and You are enough. You are light and you are free. You are joy and a blessing. You are needed and you are PRESENT.



Brunch or usual suspects? Whatever it is, I have fallen in love yet again. You are my exhale. I feel restored and I know I’m closer to my true self. Your words ring true and they bring me back to my original comfort zone. A place where I felt unstoppable and ready. I will not give you all the credit! I too have been searching for the her I know I was born to be. She favors success over sleep. She blossoms with a simple thank you. She prays to see her mother’s tears of joy. She yearns to be needed and loved. She worships those that elevate her. Stay with me good sir! I need your charisma, I need your drive and the lord knows I want your touch. For me it’s not even about what you say or what you have, but rather what you know you are capable of. You said you owe it to those who believe in you and I had an orgasm. A mental orgasm where everything made sense. Then, you reminded me of who I am. You woke her up. The woman who only reaches for perfection, the woman who defines strong. The woman who is about action! A dreamer at heart and a lover in nature. I miss her and sometimes I wonder if I have even met her. Here is what I know to be true. You might not last. I might not get the privilege to be called your woman… But I will use you to build her! I will use you as an example of who I need to be. I will beat you at your own game because I will do it with grace. I will believe in exhale! I will believe in being cozy and I will take several sips of wine. I will meet King and I will recognize the magic and worship him. I will use you to get abs and a promotion 😀😀. I will use you to feel alive again. I will treasure you as my secret.



img_0183He is as refreshing as a glass of water in a blazing afternoon. He held me in ways I never thought were possible. He grabbed me with his lips and with his hands he kissed my cheeks to the moon. I fell in love with an exhale. Will he pass? Stay with me good sir… even if it’s for a day. Let me pull your hair to a fantasy. Stimulate my head and let me explode to the Safari.


First I want to say thank you for choosing me. Thank you for praying enough. Now congratulations! You have done what many would regard as the impossible, you have fallen madly inlove with Ntombikayise Bronwin Msubo. Today is the 23rd of October 2016. I am sitting up on my bed in Jefferson City Missouri. I just thought writing a letter to you might be therapeutic. But I have decided that I will write a continuous letter to you till the day we meet. This will be continuously updated for your pleasure and for my peace of mind. I love you and I am praying for you.


Dear healer. Dear comforter. I salute the builder in you. I come before you, broken and hungry. I come to you yearning and empty. I know God exists, and I know God is love. The light in me shines for others but fades as fear overwhelms my heart. I use to say I fear ‘love’ but truthfully I despise the loss of what is dear. Right now, at this particular moment I declare before no one, that I am falling for you. I need your ability to make me smile without saying a word. I love the idea of space but yet I fear the barriers that are born of it. Wherever you see a bridge I see a barrier. When you see the rainbow I quickly dwell on the idea of how devastating the next storm will be. You strive in silence and I destroy in silence. Comforter heal my wound. Make it better so I can smile with my eyes without folding my fist. Help me rest without pills.  Love me your way!